So, here we are again. Four in the morning, unable to sleep. What's going on in my head keeping me awake. So tired that my brain barely functions. Urghh....
This has been going on for a while now. I will eventually wake up and drag myself around for a bit and then off to the office. I'll be reasonably alert for a few hours and then the tiredness will creep in, just in time for the first teachers to arrive for their lessons. I try my best but my energy is lacking and they get short-changed.
It's just the worry of what will happen back in he UK. I can't seem to help it - no matter what I tell myself or what reassuring words I hear, I worry. And at night the stuff going round and round wakes me early. Where will I live? Will I find a job? Will I find something that's more than dead-end? How will I be able to afford to live or eat or get around? How will I be able to see family or friends when everything is so damned expensive? Should I be doing something about it now? Maybe I should address it but I just try to suppress it, and it's always there, prowling in the background.
Time is just rushing by. I'm on an express train - everything is a blur and I can't stop or put on the brakes. In less than one month I'll be 'home'.