Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Rohan Goas : Review

Dear Rohan ,

When I bought a pair of your Goas trousers last October I thought your half-price offer might be too good to be true  but, like the sucker I am for a good deal, I went ahead and bought a pair.  After all, all the other Rohan products I've ever bought over the years have been wonderful performers - how could I possibly go wrong?  So I ordered a pair on-line, and tried them out for 6 months in India.  And now I'm trying them out in Sri Lanka.

After many hours of wearing them and living with them I have come to a clear conclusion : 
They're Absolute C R A P !!!

Let me explain :
A drawcord made from thin elastic which makes it impossible to get the right tension.  If it's too loose, they fall down.  If it's too tight, it digs into your stomach.  There is no "just right" position.  When you mistakenly believe you've found it, try putting some coins or a mobile phone in the pockets - watch them slide gracefully over your hips and descend to the floor.

The pockets are lined with some material which sticks to your hands.  That means you either can't get your sweaty hands in or, if you succeed, you empty the contents on the floor when you pull your sweaty hands out. 

The shape of the pockets barely allows a wallet to be stuffed in, let alone your hands.

The coin-catcher design certainly works.  In fact it works so well that you can't get the bloody things out!

The pocket with the inner pocket, multiple seams and blind voids, is thick and consequently makes you and the material damp and sweaty.

The inner pocket is secured with Velcro - so much for discrete stashing of cash.  That's if you can open it at all.   And if you do manage to get your sweaty hands into your sweaty pockets you can never figure out whether your hand is in the same pocket as the coins or in some parallel universe.

"Lightweight travel essentials. Supremely comfortable, fast drying, light, packable and most indestructible. The fit has been recently refined for extra comfort and the design of the waist adjuster and pockets has been improved.
So, if you liked the original Goas, you’re going to love the new, distilled version. And, don’t worry, everything we’ve left is all that you need."

I'd like to know how bad the original Goas were for anyone to love these.  Just how awful were those waist adjusters and pockets before?  And "Supremely comfortable"?  Not when they're falling around your knees or cutting grooves in your belly.  "Most indestructible"?  I'm seriously tempted to put a match to them to find out.

I've tried to love them, I really have, but there's no getting away from it :
They're crap and they're going in the bin.

1 comment:

  1. Now you really got me laughing my socks off here - first I thought "oh dear, gentle, Clivey" when I read C R A P...but you def turned it into a very comical review version which allows us a very good and clear insight - into your dilemma - and trousers! :) Now - i can confirm that you really DID try to love them, sharing those first struggling months - I am quite impressed that you decided to take them along to SL to give them a second chance! How can we help finding you a new adequat pair of t's then? I could stitch some up - very much customised - if ever I'll find the perfect material! ;) That's me Antsch Pantsch xxx